The sheepish chaplain feels ashamed that his discussion with Colonel Cathcart about the sixty missions failed. He had “failed miserably, had choked up once again in the face of opposition from a stronger personality. It was a familiar, ignominious experience, and his opinion of himself was low.” Returning to his remote quarters in a clearing by the woods, the chaplain sees his oversensitive assistant, Corporal Whitcomb, whispering with a bathrobe-clad C.I.D man. Smirking, Corporal Whitcomb says the C.I.D. investigator is cracking down on the chaplain for intercepting Major Major’s mail and signing “Washington Irving” to his letters. Corporal Whitcomb then accuses him of stealing a plum tomato from Colonel Cathcart. The innocent chaplain denies both the forgery and theft charges. Corporal Whitcomb is touchy because the chaplain has rejected his idea of generic condolence letters. Dejected, the chaplain resorts to eating candy bars in a state of depression.
Catch-22 